[INTRO MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, this episode contains a content warning for alcohol consumption. It’s time to put your headphones on, sit back and enjoy the divine drama of season 2 episode 2, Bacchanalia in Beverly Hills. Welcome to Echobox.
[ECHO’S THEME PLAYING TO END]
SCENE 1- EXT. PARTY/GARDEN
[LOUD PARTY MUSIC]
ALEX: I hope this party is.. worth it.
NARCISSUS (from far away): You see, I know what Zeus is doing.
[FOOTSTEPS, ALEX GETTING CLOSER]
[NARCISSUS VOICE’S CLOSER]
NARCISSUS: I said, I know what Zeus is doing. He left— I mean, it’s been, what, a month since the Olympians have gone MIA, right?
[FOOTSTEPS, ALEX GETTING CLOSER]
ALEX: Three weeks.
NARCISSUS: Yeah, I said that. Three weeks. And Zeus left this huge gap in the industry, didn’t he? I mean, I bet he’s just waiting for someone to fill his shoes.
ALEX: Fill his shoes?
NARCISSUS: And I’m just the guy for that. (chuckle) Actually— I’m perfect for the job.
ALEX: Perfect— are you insane?!
NARCISSUS: Oh, sorry, what are you doing here, honey? I thought this party was for important people only.
[FOOTSTEPS, ALEX GETTING CLOSER]
ALEX (lower): You can’t just spew shit like this. Not here.
NARCISSUS: Ugh, I know what I’m doing, Alex.
ALEX: I mean it, Narcissus. This place is filled with Olympian stars and vultures.
NARCISSUS (mocking): Uh. And you’re one of the latter, aren’t you, sweetheart?
ALEX: It’s your funeral.
[FOOTSTEPS, ALEX WALKING OFF]
SCENE 2 – INT. KITCHEN
[PING PONG BALL BOUNCING OFF TABLE]
DIONYSUS: Ha, suck it, Hermes!
HERMES: I— You, you, you not hitting my cup means you have to drink. You know that, don’t you? That’s not good for you. It’s a point— it’s a point for me!
[CUP HITTING THE TABLE]
DIONYSUS: Looks like a point to me in my book, brother dear.
HERMES: But— but it’s not! I’m— I’m, I’m winning, I’m three points ahead!
DIONYSUS: No, I’m winning. In the way that truly matters.
HERMES: I’m just talking about the rules of this game, which you should know, since we play it almost every week and it— this is just a way for you to drink more, isn’t it?!
DIONYSUS: Took you long enough.
[DIONYSUS DRINKING AGAIN]
HERMES (earnest): Oh, Alex! Hi! I didn’t know you’d be here! What are you doing here? I mean, hm, that’s rude, sorry. I’m glad you’re here. Hi.
ALEX: Oh. Hi, Hermes. Dionysus. I didn’t know you two would stoop so low as to play beer pong.
DIONYSUS: We like to keep things fun.
DIONYSUS: Welcome to the best party in L.A.
ALEX: I don’t know, have you seen what the rats do to the trash near my house?
DIONYSUS: So, who are you?
ALEX: Excuse me?
HERMES: She’s Zeus’ personal assistant.
ALEX: I have pulled you personally from the gutter almost ten times this past summer.
DIONYSUS: Only ten?
ALEX: Someone give me a drink.
HERMES: Well, you’re in good company for drinking.
DIONYSUS: What do you like? Beer? Fruity drinks? Pure vodka? Or the most beautiful of them all, wine?
ALEX: Give me your worst. Or best.
DIONYSUS: Wine, it is. Come on.
[BOTTLE BEING SET ON TABLE]
HERMES: Have you ever been here before?
ALEX: Too many times to count.
HERMES: Oh, rescuing him? From his binges?
HERMES: You seem to be dad’s favorite for that kind of job.
ALEX (sarcastic): Oh, lucky me.
HERMES: I think he doesn’t think I’m “strong-willed” enough to drag my brothers out of their stupors. Or maybe he doesn’t even think of calling me for help.
ALEX: Hermes, are you drunk?
[HERMES HAVING THE HICCUPS]
HERMES: Only… mildly. Let the record show I was winning our beer pong game.
ALEX: It’s nice to see Dionysus on his two own feet. I didn’t think that was possible.
ALEX (louder): Hey, rockstar. How’s it hanging with us mere mortals? I thought you could pick your poisons better.
DIONYSUS: Ha! This one is funny. I like her.
HERMES: You should have seen him these past few weeks. I’m pretty sure he ran the islands out of wine. And beer… Any alcohol, really. Other stuff, too.
DIONYSUS: Like I said, I like to have fun. Lookie here. This wine is older than the girls dad likes.
DIONYSUS: That means it’s good, thank you!
HERMES: The older the wine, the better it tastes. It’s because of a complex chemical reaction that —
ALEX (annoyed): I’m not stupid, Hermes.
HERMES: I—I didn’t say you were!
DIONYSUS: Here. You’re Zeus’ girl, yeah?
ALEX: Gross. I’m Zeus’ PA, like Hermes says. And I’ve picked you up countless times. Like I said.
DIONYSUS: I was quite busy.
ALEX: You were wasted.
DIONYSUS: Well, yeah. But don’t tell the tabloids that.
ALEX: As if they don’t know.
DIONYSUS: We all need our fantasies.
ALEX: Please. All you Olympian kids do is live in fantasyland.
HERMES (hurt): Oh, you really think that?
ARTEMIS: Don’t take it personally, Hermes. Alex has had to take care of Dio and Apollo one too many times.
DIONYSUS: I can vouch for that. Or can’t. I guess that’s the point.
ALEX: Artemis! Hi! I—didn’t know you were here.
ARTEMIS: I was with Apollo. Let’s just say… he pre-gamed pretty hard.
DIONYSUS: Without me?
ARTEMIS: Hopefully you’ll find it in you to forgive him.
DIONYSUS: I guess we’ll make it up for it next time.
ALEX: As long as you don’t get me involved, get as shit-faced as you want.
DIONYSUS: Party foul! I mean, oops! Let’s get this party started! Wait, Ares, over here!
[UNBALANCED FOOTSTEPS, DIONYSUS WALKING OFF]
ARTEMIS: Oof, I don’t envy you, Alex.
[GLASS SHARDS CLANKING]
HERMES: I don’t envy any of us. We’re all back in town, but dad isn’t. You know how the Olympians get without Zeus nearby.
ALEX: The tabloids are still watching. That has to still strike fear into their stone hearts.
ARTEMIS: Tell that to them. That Echobox thing has gone silent, too. For now.
HERMES: Echo is mean. And I still haven’t figured out who she is.
ARTEMIS: She wasn’t mean to me.
HERMES: Artemis, no one is mean to you.
ARTEMIS: Fair enough.
ALEX: But—if Zeus is still gone, who is in charge? You?
[HERMES LAUGHING, A DEEP, BELLY LAUGH]
HERMES: Right, dad would put me in charge. Uncle Hades is taking the frontlines while dad is out… doing whatever he is.
ALEX: Hades is in charge?
ARTEMIS: He always takes over when dad pulls these little stunts. He knows everything.
HERMES (singsongy): Not who Echo is.
ARTEMIS: Well, no one knows that. And if anyone is going to find out… It’s gonna be him and his team.
HERMES: Ah… I tried to get into his team.
ALEX (surprised): What? You did? When? Why?
HERMES: Before the vacation. I’d feel—more useful there. I would actually be doing something with my time. Dad didn’t let me. He said he needed me close. What for, I don’t know. He trusts you more than he does me. I’m just his—”errand boy”.
ARTEMIS: Dad trusts you, Hermes. C’mon, I think you had too much to drink. Lemme take you home.
HERMES (whiny): I don’t wanna go homeee… I’m having fun!
ARTEMIS (stern): Hey, you’re having the opposite of fun. C’mon.
ARTEMIS: I’m sorry, Alex.
ALEX: Always the rescuing sister, uh?
ARTEMIS: You know me. Duty calls. [CHUCKLE] Will you be alright?
ALEX: Don’t, don’t worry about me.
ARTEMIS: Are you sure?
ALEX: Dionysus left his fancy wine. Trust me, I’ll survive.
ARTEMIS: Alright. Goodnight.
HERMES (almost intelligibly): Bye, Alex!
ALEX: Bye, Hermes.
[UNBALANCED FOOTSTEPS, HERMES WALKING OFF]
[FOOTSTEPS, ARTEMIS WALKING OFF]
[VOICES FAR AWAY]
HERMES: I’m good, I’m fine. Fiiiiiiine…
ARTEMIS: Hey, let’s just go. Let’s just leave this place. Come on. It’s okay, let’s go, come on.
SCENE 3 – INT. KITCHEN
[SCENE TRANSITION MUSIC PLAYING]
NARCISSUS: Now that we’re finally alone…
ALEX: Ugh, get a room…
[FOOTSTEPS, ALEX WALKING OFF]
[VOICE FAR AWAY]
NARCISSUS: C’mon, I bet it’s no one important.
[BATHROOM DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING]
[QUIET BATHROOM AMBIENCE]
[BATHROOM DOOR LOCKING]
SCENE 4 – INT. BATHROOM
[PHONE BUTTONS BEEPING]
[ALEX SINGING ECHOBOX’S INTRO]
ECHO: No, no, I’ve got a new one for you guys. It goes… It goes kind of like this.
[ALEX SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE]
ECHO: I’ll add the intro on post. Anyway, welcome back, listeners. It’s been a while, huh? You can tell Zeus the bitch is back. Except… he isn’t back yet, is he? Nooo…
ECHO: No, he is still licking his wounds in the Bahamas. Probably getting some poor girl pregnant and spawning another bastard that he can traumatize further in life, like he does to all of his children.
ECHO: But guess what, Zeus? The world doesn’t revolve around you. I don’t need you in L.A. to do my show. I’m sure my followers agree. I’m not just an “echo” to them. They care about what I think and…
ECHO: I’m sure you guys aren’t here to listen to me babble about myself, right? You want the dirt. And luckily, I’m here to give you just that. The Olympian kids just came down from heaven and are back in the real world with us. Lemme tell you, if you think spending a month at the beach with no cell phone connection and everything they wanted at their disposal would make them more well adjusted, you’re… well… dead fucking wrong!
ECHO: Not that having everything they need would ever make these kids well adjusted. Anyway! You’re here for the news. This is news. Not gossip. News. Because (breaks off in a laugh) I’m a very serious reporter.
[PHONE HITTING THE FLOOR]
ECHO: Fuck, phone, don’t fall over.
[PHONE BUTTONS CLICKING]
ECHO: We got Dionysus throwing a raging party, filled with alcohol even he can’t even buy. Maybe he uses his father’s favorite delivery boy to get it. I’m talking about you, Hermes.
ECHO: Though, I think you have enough on your plate right now, so I won’t tease you too much. After all, having Hades as a boss? That must be rough. Do your daddy issues extend to him too? And yeah, listeners, I said it right. Seems like our little emo boy finally got what he wanted. Zeus’ gone, Poseidon is, I dunno, playing Marco Polo at the pool, and Hades is taking over Olympus Records.
ECHO: Did you guys know you’re supposed to spin your cup like this when drinking wine? It’s supposed to enhance the experience. Not that you can see it, I guess. It’s a podcast.
ECHO: Anyway, hm… Hades, you finally got what he wanted. You should thank me, you know. If my little show wasn’t here, I doubt Zeus would have taken such a long break and put you in charge. I accept payment in cash, but mostly, information. At least we have that in common, right?
ECHO: Hmmm, what else? Apollo still didn’t show up. Maybe he found a little lovebird where he’s at? Maybe his father is holding him hostage so he can’t break any other pap’s camera? Maybe his gorgeous sister finally realized what a dirtbag he is and dropped him off the face of Earth?
ECHO: Too good to be true, I guess.
ECHO: There is also someone around here trying to make a name for himself: Narcissus. Not sure you remember him, but there’s an episode about him already. It’s number… well, I don’t know, sue me. You should have listened to them all anyway! Narcissus is talking big and trying his best to piss off Zeus from an ocean away.
ECHO: Narcissus, as a… friend. Just shut your mouth before you say something that will make the Olympians want to get rid of you. Or don’t. Whatever. Just don’t try saying no one told you so.
[BATHROOM KNOB RATTLING]
[BATHROOM DOOR BANGING]
ECHO: Fuck off, it’s busy! Jesus. Can’t a girl work around here?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[ECHO GETTING UP]
ECHO: Thanks for listening, babies. This is Echo, logging off.
[PARTY MUSIC ON THE BACKGROUND]
ALEX: What do you want?
HECATE: To pee? You know, the bodily function we all do. Were you sick or?
ALEX: No, I was—you know, just—taking a break.
HECATE: Oh. In the bathroom?
ALEX: Yes, in the bathroom.
HECATE: Can you——let me through?
ALEX: Sure… Weirdo.
[PARTY MUSIC GETTING LOUDER]
[HOUSE DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING]
SCENE 5 – EXT. OUTSIDE OF DIONYSUS HOUSE
[QUIET NIGHT AMBIENCE]
ALEX: Can you just— fucking— work?
[PHONE BUTTONS CLICKS]
ALEX: Fifty dollars? I’m not paying fifty dollars to go home, you stupid little—
[BEVERAGE SLURPING SOUND]
PERSEUS: You okay?
ALEX: Perseus, I… I thought you were-
PERSEUS: Trapped in a psych ward? Well, yeah, I heard that a lot tonight.
ALEX: Sorry. I’m really sorry.
PERSEUS: It’s no problem. You’re umm…Alex? You’re Zeus’ assistant, aren’t you?
ALEX: That’s my tagline, I guess.
PERSEUS: Must be rough. Is he bothering you right now? Don’t tell me he has you fishing us out of the ditch again?
ALEX: Zeus is too busy riding his PR storm somewhere else. I’m here purely for fun tonight. It’s just… Shit. I didn’t really think about how I would go home when I came here. My ride is going to cost three times what it should.
PERSEUS: Where do you live?
ALEX: Well. Very, very far away from where the Olympian kids huddle together to have fun.
PERSEUS: Ha. Same. Losing your record deal will get you that.
ALEX: Well, at least you had one.
ALEX: Sorry. Again… I’m drunk.
PERSEUS: It’s fine. I’m not that fragile, y’know. I’m— doing better.
ALEX: Why did you even come to an Olympian party anyway?
PERSEUS: Andromeda asked me the same thing. She didn’t wanna come. But… they’re my friends. Even after everything.
ALEX: The Olympians… are your friends?
PERSEUS: Well, yeah. It’s not their fault who their dad is.
[CAR PULLING UP]
ALEX: I— That’s my ride.
PERSEUS: Oh! I won’t hold you. Get home safe!
ALEX: Thanks. I’m… I’m glad to see you’re okay.
PERSEUS (softly): Better than ever.
[CAR DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING]
ALEX: This fucking night needs to be over.
[CAR STARTING AND DRIVING AWAY]
[SCENE TRANSITION MUSIC PLAYING]
SCENE 6 – ALEX’S DOORWAY
ALEX: Ugh…Never… drink with Dionysus… ever again.
[DOOR UNLOCKING AND CLOSING]
[KEYS BEING SET ON TABLE]
ALEX (baby voice): Hello, sweetheart. Were you a good boy? Yeah, you were.
DAPHNE: We really need to talk about your cat being named after your ex.
ALEX: What are you doing in my place? Did you bring mom?
DAPHNE: Nope! Just me!
ALEX: How did you get in?!
DAPHNE: The key on the pot near the door. I missed you so much!
ALEX: Ugh. What are you doing here?
DAPHNE: Congrats, sis! You just got yourself a new roommate.
DAPHNE: I’m moving in with you! Duh!
ALEX: I… I need to throw up.
[OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING]
This episode stars, in order of appearance, Isabella Sales as Alex/Echo, Killian Woolard as Narcissus, Maxwell Caetano as Dionysus, Ron Guan as Hermes, Juliana Gutiérrez Arango as Artemis, Lauren Tucker as Hecate, as Perseus and Tal Minear as Daphne. It was written by Isabella Sales and produced by Corienne Swanson. The Echobox theme song was made by Meg McKellar. Dialogue cut by Marianna Marcon and audio and sound design by Georgia Triantafyllopolou and Meg Mckellar. Logo design by Lucas Eduardo Bueno.
You can find the episode transcript at our website at echoboxpod dot com.
Echobox is created out of love for storytelling and provided at no profit to us but we deeply appreciate the hard work our cast and crew put into the show. If you want to help us pay them for their work, support us on our patreon at patreon dot com slash echoboxpod.
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Thank you for listening. See you next time we open the Echobox!
[OUTRO MUSIC FADING OUT]