Echobox is a fictional retelling of ancient Greek myths. There are countless versions of these stories, with just as many cultural and linguistic nuances. For the sake of storytelling and adaptation, we’ve taken creative liberties and added our own flair to many of the stories. The stories and characters of Echobox are by no means the only versions nor should they be taken as the ‘correct’ ones. Neither should they be taken as an accurate representation of who these deities were and are to their worshippers. Thank you for your help in remaining respectful to deities and practitioners!
Today’s episode features content warnings for mentions of homophobia.
Now, put some headphones on. Sit back and enjoy the divine drama of episode eight, Leave Hera Alone.
[TYPING IN THE BACKGROUND]
ZEUS: [GRUNTS IN ANNOYANCE] Come in.
ALEX: Mr. Olympus? Your wife is on the phone.
ZEUS: Tell her I’m busy.
ALEX: But sir…
ZEUS: Did I not make myself clear?
ALEX: I… yes. Of course, sir.
[TYPING AND CHATTERING IN THE BACKGROUND]
ALEX: I’m sorry, Miss Olympus, but your husband is in a meeting right now.
HERA: Don’t play dumb with me, you little minx. I have access to his work schedule, I know he is not in a meeting.
ALEX: My name is Alex.
HERA: I don’t care what your name is. Put me through with my husband. I need to talk to him.
ALEX: Mr. Olympus is busy right–
HERA: I said I need to talk to him now. Do I need to make myself clearer? Ahora.
ALEX: [ANGRILY] Fine.
ALEX: You deal with your scorned wife, Zeus.
[ECHOBOX INTRO PLAYS]
Welcome to Echobox, this is Echo speaking.
And, well. I guess you guys are truly listening, huh?
To everyone who sends in kind messages and love. Thanks, really. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one that is done with the Olympians and their little cult following.
To everyone who calls me a bitch. You’re right. I am a bitch. And I’m not going to change just because of some mean comments online, so just go stream the new Apollo song on iTunes and leave me the fuck alone, alright?
Anyway. People have been very keen on calling me a fake feminist because I talked about Hera.
After all, Hera is a feminist icon, isn’t she?
Except her feminism doesn’t reach any woman that doesn’t fit her perfect trifecta. White, cishet, and rich.
What, you’re doubting me? You just need to check how she treats every assistant and intern in Olympus Records, calling them whores to their faces just because her husband is too busy fucking someone else to talk to her.
Or, you know, her step-daughter Artemis. Not that she is nice to any of her step-children, but that is besides the point…
Oh! Better yet. Do you think that Hera’s little “women’s rights” speech reaches Leto Delgado?
That woman had her life ruined the moment she attracted Zeus’ interests.
I know it’s easy to forget how awful everyone was with her because her kids became Zeus’ golden pawns, since they knew how to sing and were pretty marketable with their blond hair.
But I’m sure Leto is still out there, nursing herself back to health from the trauma of the years she was the media’s favorite scarlet letter.
All you have to do is google her name to see the old tabloids. She couldn’t go to the grocery store without being followed by paparazzis or harassed by Olympus Brothers fans.
Leto had the bad luck of being the first of Zeus’ mistresses known to the public. And Hera made sure she was punished for it.
She never had any chance. There were no Instagram lives, no hashtags to be lifted. It was just her against Zeus and Hera. Which means, it was her against the world.
Even with two babies in her belly, no one batted an eye to all the abuse she went through. Definitely not Zeus, who was only in love with her when she was spread on his bed.
But I guess that’s her fault, right? According to Hera, it is.
Leto was the whore who ruined her marriage. Not her actual husband who likes to stick his dick in anything that moves.
And, before anyone says it. No, I’m not blaming Hera for Zeus’ misdoings, and I don’t think any of you should either.
I know fully well who is at blame for that, and that is the man himself. I hope my listeners know that too. I trust that you do.
Anyway, I- Whatever. I don’t even know what this episode was meant to be about. I’m just- Jesus. I’m not an anti-feminist or something. I thought that went without saying.
Just- if you guys want to attack Hera, attack her for the right things, alright? There is plenty to choose from.
The racism, the internalized misogyny, the shallowness… But being cheated on is not one of those, OKAY?
This is Echo, logging off. I’ll see you guys next week, I guess.
[ECHOBOX OUTRO PLAYS]
ALEX: [SLEEPILY] Achilles, I told you I’m not fucking going out today. And no, not even if you pay.
HERMES: Oh. Hi. Hey, Alex.
ALEX: Hermes? It’s Saturday night.
HERMES: It is! It is. I know. I… Well. I need your help.
ALEX: I’m not working right now.
HERMES: No! I know. I know. I’m not working too. I mean, if dad calls, I am, but I’m technically not. I needed your help as a friend.
ALEX: I’m not your friend.
HERMES: Can you talk? I really need your help. I- I’m here with the twins, but they don’t quite get what it’s like.
ALEX: [SIGHS]: What what is like?
HERMES: Having our jobs. Being Zeus’… whatever we are. Especially when he’s like this. When he’s… God, he and Hera have been fighting all week,
And with those Echobox episodes, it just keeps getting worse. They’re both listening to them, you know? They don’t tell anyone, but they do. After the one that dropped today, he was so mad, I thought he would…
[HERMES TAKES A DEEP BREATH]
He yelled at me for like 10 minutes because I had a coffee stain on my shirt. I know he’s just stressed and he would rather take it out on us than on his wife, but- Am I that much of a failure?
ALEX: Hermes, I-
HERMES: I guess that Echo person was right.
ALEX: What do you mean?
HERMES: I should just-
ARTEMIS: Hermes, who are you talking to?
HERMES: I’m talking to Alex.
ARTEMIS: Alex? From Olympus Records?
ARTEMIS: Gimme the phone.
HERMES: No, she’s my friend, she’s helping me out right now.
ARTEMIS: Just- go get some water and take a breather, Hermes. Okay?
ARTEMIS: Hey, Alex. Sorry he called you.
ALEX: It’s okay.
ARTEMIS: No, it’s not. It’s Saturday night. I’m sure you have better things to do than talk to the troubled kids of your boss because they drunk-called you.
ALEX: Well… I guess so. Talking to you is not so bad.
ARTEMIS: [CHUCKLES] I’m humbled. Still, sorry Hermes called. Zeus is having a rough week, so he’s having a rough week. I guess you are too, right?
ALEX: Yeah… Something about that show, isn’t it? I’m not too privy on the details.
ARTEMIS: Yeah. I mean, that too, but the internet – people are tearing Hera apart. She’s not taking it very well.
You know the woman is an asshole, but even I feel a little bad for her. I think she’s going through some sort of postpartum depression or something.
ALEX: [SOFT HUM]
ARTEMIS: Apollo, what are you doing? Jesus Christ- Sorry, Alex. I gotta go.
ALEX: Oh. Okay. Yeah. Goodnight.
ALEX: I- uh. Good luck. With your brothers and all.
ARTEMIS: Thanks. I’m gonna need it.
[PHONE CALL ENDS]
[ECHOBOX INTRO PLAYS]
ECHO: So, this is our first minisode! Yay. What a milestone.
Too bad it’s not a happy occasion, huh?
I just have one question. What the actual fuck?
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go to Hera’S Instagram. You know, the one where she has pretty much only posted baby pics for the past two weeks.
Look at the comments.
Are you guys fucking insane?
This isn’t about- about how good Hera is in bed, how hot she is, how old is she. Zeus cheats on her ever since the beginning of their relationship. He never fucking loved her – and he definitely doesn’t love her now that she has a new baby on her arm.
Just… Stop doing this, alright? Stop. Leave Hera alone.
Like, I hate her too, she’s an asshole, but that doesn’t mean you should flood her comments with that kind of shit.
I know… I know what it’s like to be- treated like that in a relationship. And lemme tell you, it fucking hurts. It hurts on its own, it makes you feel like you’re going to die. And that’s without people commenting on your new baby picture making fun of you. So just… back the fuck off.
And… Hera. I…
You want a piece of advice? Love yourself and leave the bastard, before he runs you through the mill again. You’re… better than this.
Albeit it doesn’t take much to be better than Zeus, I guess.
I’ll see you guys next week. I’m Echo, logging off.
[ECHOBOX OUTRO PLAYS]
Echobox is written and produced by the Echobox Podcast Team. This episode stars, in order of appearance,Damon Alums as Zeus, Isabella Sales as Alex/Echo, Elizabeth as Hera, Ron Guan as Hermes, Juliana Gutiérrez Arango as Artemis. It was written by Isabella Sales. Audio and sound design by Corienne Swanson, Meg Mckellar and Marianna Marcon. Logo design by Lucas Eduardo Bueno and website by Andy Cerdan.
Transcripts for this episode and others can be found on our website by transcriber Maxwell Caetano. Our website also has additional in-universe content and ways to get in contact with us. Visit echoboxpod.net or check the show notes for a link.
The music we used today was Ethernight Club and Magic Scout Cottages by Kevin McLeod, licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 from creativecommons.org/by/3.0.
Echobox is created out of love for storytelling and provided at no profit to us. Your feedback is our reward! Reach out on our website or find us as echoboxpod across social media.
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Thank you for listening. Until next time, dear listeners.