[MEDEA’S THEME ON VIOLIN]
MEDEA: My name is Medea. I am of the planet Colchis. It’s embarrassing that I didn’t realize up until now that I’ve been captured by…
ATALANTA: I was the last remaining crew member aboard the Argo, and it’s been a while. You’re the only person who has any idea where the Fleece is.
MEDEA: You’re… looking for the Fleece?
ATALANTA: Something as powerful as that is dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands. Best for a hero like me to find it before anything bad happens, y’know?
[ARGO’S ALARMS BLARING, SHIP CREAKING]
ECHO: Critical systems failures detected.
MEDEA: That doesn’t sound good.
ATALANTA: Oh, you think?!
MEDEA: –Firing now!
[ARGO’S GUN SHOOTS]
ATALANTA: You call that a parry?
ECHO: Present dangers include: the chimera must be very close to our projected flight trajectory.
ATALANTA: Medusa, focus!
MEDUSA: I can’t focus! There’s a giant monster out there!
[MINOTAUR BELLOWS MECHANICALLY]
MEDEA: Don’t get yourself killed.
TALESPINNER: Khora. K-H-O-R-A. Now available wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Echobox is a fictional retelling of ancient Greek myths. There are countless versions of these stories, with just as many cultural and linguistic nuances. For the sake of storytelling and adaptation, we’ve taken creative liberties and added our own flair to many of the stories. The stories and characters of Echobox are by no means the only versions nor should they be taken as the ‘correct’ ones. Neither should they be taken as an accurate representation of who these deities were and are to their worshippers. Thank you for your help in remaining respectful to deities and practitioners!
Today’s episode features content warnings for mentions of drug abuse, overdosing, homophobia and revenge porn.
Now put some headphones on, sit back, and enjoy the divine drama of episode 3, a new deal for Olympus Records.
[VOICES CHATTERING IN THE BACKGROUND]
ECHO: What if we move this hook and make it the bridge instead? We could put it…
ECHO: Here. It pops way more.
[PEN TAPPING RHYTHMICALLY]
NARCISSUS: Oh! That’s so much better. I’m a genius.
ECHO: Well. I did suggest you move it. And i also wrote it.
NARCISSUS: Sure, but I’m the one that makes it sound good.A song is nothing without its singer.
ECHO: I- I could sing too. Maybe it could be a duet?
NARCISSUS: I don’t know… It sounds pretty good with only me. And I don’t think I could ever share a stage with anyone. I mean… You shouldn’t want to! Everyone would be so busy staring at me, they wouldn’t even notice you.
ECHO: Yeah. I have no idea what that would feel like. Better if you keep the spotlight with my song, right?
NARCISSUS: Exactly! I really think I’ve got something here, Alex… Love Echoes by Narcissus. I can already see the billboards. The awards. My name on top of the charts.
ECHO: Our name. Even if you sing, I still wrote it.
NARCISSUS: Sure, sure. We’ll work out those details later. For now just think about it. My face everywhere, my music on every station, my name on the entertainment channels. [LAUGHING] It’s gonna perfect. Just what the world needs.
ECHO: How about we finish this song before you get lost in that wet dream, lover boy?
[ECHOBOX INTRO PLAYS]
ECHO: Hello and welcome to Echobox. Today’s episode is just me. Yeah, sorry to disappoint. Hermes didn’t want to be my co host. Boo-hoo. Other than vague threats, he did ask one good question. My pronouns.
ECHO: Well, I mean. He could have used the only Olympian brain cell the family shares to check my website. Which has my pronouns. But oh, well. I’m she/her, for the next NDA you whip up for us. [BEAT] And I’m still not your friend. If you try to threaten me again, you will be sorry. As for my accent, as so many lovely anon comments pointed out, yes, I have an accent. Shocking, I know. It just means I’m bi. Lingual, I mean, but I’m also bisexual.
ECHO: I have dated men before, but I’m kinda done with them now. Sexuality is not a choice you can make – not even out of spite. [SIGH]
ECHO: Trust me, I tried.
ECHO: Right now, though, I’m on a strict no man diet. It’s women only for this disaster bi. If you happen to be a hot girl who is cool and doesn’t mind a bit of bite, hit me up. Anyway. Enough about me! Let’s talk about Zeus.
ECHO: If you have checked the trending topics today, you saw that Olympus Records just released their new deal’s first single. And I know some of you have definitely checked the trending topics, because you have asked me to, hm.
ECHO: Spill all the tea about this new hottie? Should we cancel him? Any nudes of him to share?
ECHO: Babies, two things. First, I don’t share nudes. I do have some nudes of the new guy on my phone that I got from some anonymous sources, but I’m not going to share that. Please. As if I need dick pics to ruin anyone’s life. Especially someone from Olympus Records – they already trainwrecks in the making.
ECHO: Second, everyone at Olympus Records deserves to be cancelled. If you wanna simp over someone, you know my opinion on that. Pick someone who has either quit or was dramatically fired from there.
ECHO: I’m looking at you, Artemis.
ECHO: Okay, I mean, okay. [CHUCKLE] But about this new… hottie, if you guys insist. Narcissus is new and fresh, has a smile to kill for and can take a selfie like it’s his job. Good news! It is his job now. I’m pretty sure his contract says he needs to post three thirst traps a week. Glad he’s been practicing. I mean, have you seen his Instagram feed? All he can do is take mirror selfies. Not that I stalked him. I didn’t. I just. You guys were asking me about it. That’s all.
ECHO: Narcissus is- truly everything Zeus loves. Blonde, hot, with a great voice and no sort of moral compass. His new single is out. It’s.
ECHO: It’s called Love Echoes. You might have seen the music video that features Narcissus himself kissing a lot of beautiful girls. It’s truly a masterpiece. Should be nominated for a Grammy. Following in the footsteps of every boy star that Zeus put on the spotlight, he didn’t write the song. This time, they didn’t even pay someone to do it. The bastard stole it from his ex-girlfriend, who is clearly more talented than he could ever hope to be. But oh well, it’s not like anyone is going to believe her if she steps forward.
ECHO: And everyone loves a sweet boy who looks like he could never love anyone in his life singing about love. Trust me, folks, the only person Narcissus could ever love is himself. If he could marry himself, he would. But well, it still worked. It still sold. I mean, of course it did. He’s a white, cishet, conventionally attractive man. How wouldn’t it work?
ECHO: I mean, yes, Zeus could have given his ex-girlfriend a chance, but I’m sure the girl didn’t even try to talk to him about his lyrics. No one wants to hear a girl sing about love. All they care about is how big her tits are and how well she can shake her ass. As much as Zeus is a complete homophobe, he does love his male champions. And just so you guys don’t complain that I spent this whole week babbling about this good for nothing starter that will probably only have fifteen minutes of fame, let’s get into these other superstars.
ECHO: Theseus is an Olympus Records classic, isn’t he? He’s got a life of his own now, going on tours with his flashy shows and huge group of backup dancers. It wasn’t always like that, though. Theseus was your classic story of a bright eyed kid moving to LA to make it big. Only he didn’t strike gold his first chance here. Or the second. Or third. Finally, on his twenty-fifth birthday, his demo tape made it into the right hands and he was picked up. A happy ending!
ECHO: That’s the official story at least. In reality, Theseus got desperate and decided he’d do whatever it took. He found a girlfriend with a knack for songwriting and a brother who sang great, but was too ugly for anyone to ever sign him. Ariadne wrote, Asterius sang, and Theseus performed. That’s how Theseus’ breakout album came to be. They’ve broken ties now, because of course Theseus didn’t want collaborators when he made it big. He paid a lot of money to keep them quiet. Don’t believe me? Go listen to his latest single and then anything off Labyrinth. They won’t sound the same. Of course not. One is an actual talented singer and the other is a pretty boy with enough autotune to fund a whole studio. Any resemblance to Narcissus is pure coincidence, I’m told.
ECHO: They’re not all classic success stories. And while there’s usually at least one miserable party, sometimes it’s even Zeus’ precious stars that end up tossed aside. Truly I feel sorry for them. For one specifically.
ECHO: You know what I’m talking about. Yeah, you can say his name, Zeus won’t sue you. He might sue me. [BEAT] Are you ready?
ECHO: Jason. Oh, I even shuddered. Jason truly suffered at the hands of the Olympus Records. Allegedly.
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND]
ECHO: He was a big hit a few months back. Had a band and everything. They travelled the entire world, even did something called a charity cruise, which sounds as gross as you can imagine, but hey, at least he was trying I guess. Jason dated his guitar player, Medea. They were like Bonnie and Clyde! If Bonnie and Clyde were two kids in their 20s who got in over their heads, did too many drugs and decided to have very public fights. Their relationship was chaotic at best and toxic at worst. It was everyone’s favorite entertainment.
ECHO: Until one dreadful night you know the one I’m talking about. The one when Jason almost od’d with only Medea on the hotel room and had to be rushed to rehab. He’s at a clinic right now. And Zeus is paying for it. I mean, he’s to blame for his addiction, so he should be the one who fixes it.
ECHO: I mean. Allegedly. How’s that for some sprinkled in truth, Zeus? Or Hermes, I guess. I bet daddy just makes you listen to this, since he wouldn’t bother himself to actually pull some weight. The co hosting offer is still standing. Hey, yeah, I’m a bitch, but at least I’m not your abusive dad.
ECHO: Well! Medea, his girlfriend has just won her six month sobriety chip so! Yay, congrats, girl. I swear I’m not being sarcastic. Good for her. She is also learning how to play the ukelele. You can find her on Youtube at thatwitchmedea. You guys know how I feel about women leaving Olympus Records and starting their own Youtube thing. So yeah, go check that out.
ECHO: We also have Perseus, I guess. Imagine Apollo, but uglier. Not as big a deal. Similar hook up histories. That’s Perseus for you. There was a big scandal a few years back about a girl named Medusa, who was stirring up some noise about dear old Poseidon. Of course the only interesting story about him is when he is a fucking asshole, and Perseus dear was essential in tearing her down and making her words count for nothing. You know how it goes. A few flirty texts, a few leaked nudes and boom. That woman can never be trusted again. I wonder if Perseus can even sleep at night. Probably not. Have you seen his eye bags? They ain’t cute.
ECHO: Right now, he’s hanging around with a girl named Andromeda. She would be the perfect partner. If Perseus was actually into her. If only Perseus could be the radical free love type of guy like the golden boy Apollo is. Oh well. I guess you only have the privilege of using your sexuality to sell when you’re the boss’ kid. If you’re not, you just have your hands tied. And not in a good way, if you know what I mean. Perseus, honey, blink twice if you need help.
ECHO: Mmmm, lemme think. Sorry, I didn’t really prep a script for this, so I don’t even have papers to shuffle. Oh! Achilles. He was there too. Zeus doesn’t like talking about him. He was the perfect one. Until he got into a fight with Apollo. Well, you know.
ECHO: Fight. A little birdy told me they saw them together in a closet but I don’t want to make assumptions. I don’t want to be sued for defamation, right?
ECHO: The official story is that they were friends and had a falling out. But no one is here for the official story, right? Apollo and Achilles had something going on. Zeus found out, and he was pissed. Trust me, it wasn’t the first guy Apollo was caught with. But Achilles was the golden boy. He went to the gym every day. He made crowds scream. He was everyone’s favorite. But he wasn’t that obedient. And that’s unforgivable in Zeus’ book.
ECHO: You can be gay, but you gotta be quiet. You can be bi, but you gotta hang out with cis people of the opposite gender for the cameras. Achilles was anything but quiet. So he got his record deal ripped off for breaching contract. Vague, huh? He and Apollo were supposed to go on tour together the very next week, but instead Daddy Zeus had to run around replacing everything at the last minute. Changed it to yet another bland Apollo tour with that kid Paris as an opener, back when he was just some farm kid from the south. The whole thing was pretty fucked. But who in their right mind would sue Olympus Records?
ECHO: Yeah. Right. I guess Achilles tried. But his new boyfriend didn’t let him. Yeah, he’s dating now. Patrick, is his name, I think. Whatever. I don’t care. That dude is out of the Olympus atmosphere, and he’s not making music anymore. He doesn’t matter anymore.
ECHO: Hey, Achilles, if you’re free on Tuesday, why don’t you come over here and tell me all about the golden boy? Anyway, the new kid. Narcissus.
ECHO: I don’t… I don’t… I guess this is it for the night. Just don’t fucking stream that stupid song, okay? Go listen to some indie artist on YouTube, for God’s sake.
ECHO: I don’t even have anything else to say. This wrap’s up today’s episode. You’ve been listening to Echobox. I’m Echo, logging off.
ECHO: Hey, this is Alex. I can’t come to the phone right now. If I didn’t pick up, I’m either dead or ignoring you. Anyway, leave your message after the beep.
ACHILLES: Hm, hey babe, it’s Achilles. I’m assuming you’re ignoring me, which: rude. Honestly, almost qualifies as a crime. I’m also assuming that you’d never let your boss hear this little message, otherwise he would truly kill you. You know how Zeus gets.
ACHILLES: Anyway. Just… maybe don’t go to Twitter’s trending topics today. Or like, on the Internet, at all. You might encounter an obnoxious pretty boy with a habit of stealing songs. When you inevitably go online anyway, know that I will tell you that I told you so.
ACHILLES: Ouch! I mean, me and Pat will be very supportive and all ears when you need us. Bye! And stop ignoring me.
Echobox is written and produced by the Echobox Podcast Team. This episode stars, in order of appearance, Isabella Sales as Alex/Echo, Killian Woolard as Narcissus and Emma K. Blaskelee as Achilles. It was written by Isabella Sales and Sebastián Ponsa Nazario. Audio and sound design by Corienne Swanson, Meg Mckellar and Marianna Marcon. Logo design by Lucas Eduardo Bueno and website by Andy Cerdan.
Transcripts for this episode and others can be found on our website by transcriber Maxwell Caetano. Our website also has additional in-universe content and ways to get in contact with us. Visit echoboxpod dot net or check the show notes for a link.
Echobox is created out of love for storytelling and provided at no profit to us. Your feedback is our reward! Reach out on our website or find us as echoboxpod across social media.
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Thank you for listening. Until next time, dear listeners.